Posts tagged stories

it was summer and it was hot and she was miles away from home. camping, it was her break from reality, but it didn’t satisfy her like it did before. the sun was unforgiving. it was blazing and her skin, scorching.
today is water park day. it should be ok. 
she was smiling, laughing. but she was empty. her best friends watching, they were her happiness.. but it wasn’t what she needed. another day at the water park. they were in line to enter the gates she’s walked through before countless times. this routine seemed almost too much; she needed something new. paper in hand, she walks through and shows a man.
um. i need to know where this is.. she laughs. he gives her directions to her shaded area and that was it. she didn’t know in the next hour, her life was about to change. 
high fives and flirty smiles.
you should hit me up when you’re in long beach. he says.
he must practice this everyday. 
oh, sure. she smiles, but hesitates. she gives him her number. minutes later, a text. hey it’s dillon here’s my number :)
and that’s when it all started..

a phone call that was seemingly normal went on, though she can hear some emotion she cannot place in his voice. 
are you looking forward to seeing me this weekend? she asks, her heart already beating like a drum, steady and fast. yeah, he says. a small relief. are you homesick? are you tired of cali? are you tired of me? she held her breath at the last question. a pause then i don’t know, he says. 
babe.. her heart cracks. silence.
i don’t think i want to be in this relationship anymore, he finally says. why? she asks, her heart slowly breaking. i don’t know. i’m just not happy anymore. he says, he says slowly. why? she asks again. i don’t know, he replies.
for a brief moment, the past nine months flashed before her eyes. all the effort, the fights, the sacrifices, the smiles, the laughs, his face before he wakes up, his smile, his eyes. it all shattered.
she pleaded. don’t do this. the tears begin to fall.
this is what you get. you KNEW this would happen. you stupid fuck, you got attached. you let him in. this is your fault.
she tries to reason with him. she cries. she fought. hard.
it’s over. he says, voice as cold as ice.
her heart breaks and she’s empty. 
where did it all go? 

she had no intention of going to italian class. she wanted, no, needed to see him. 
come up, she texts. they were on their way. she sits in the cafe, waiting until she can lay eyes on him again; her heart thrumming a steady beat.

an hour later, they arrive. she gets in the back seat, a smile stamped on her face.
damn it, he’s gorgeous.
they go to the town center, sit in the food court and talk. she was nervous, it was showing and it was driving him away. he goes out for a smoke.
damn it, thea! josh says. you’re fucking it up. he chuckles. stop paying attention to me and talk to him.
he’s too good for me.
i know! fuck! she retaliates. but i get nervous around him coz he’s so fucking cute!! josh gives her pointers and vows to help. they go outside to meet him.
she sits on on the couch; he was sitting on another. she was cold, he gives her his jacket. it wasn’t working. he motions for her to sit on his lap. she does, they cuddle.
they share stories and talk. she point out the constellation on her palm and how it mirrors the stars above. he takes her hand, holds it up to the sky and compares. his touch was warm, she smiles to herself. they sit there, just watching the stars for a while. she cuddles close to him, she could smell his scent. armani: code. they sit there, talking. and she couldn’t be any happier. 

it’s looking like another night. the one where she’s in a drunken stupor and she won’t remember in the morning. she’s ready.
i’m bringing thor. josh texts. uh. ok? she replies.
thor? haha this is gonna be good.

they wait in barnes and nobles. josh and thor walk past them and she looks up, instantly held in place by his eyes. like mint chocolate chip ice cream. her heart beats a little faster.
play it off.
hi, josh! she smiles, then a hug. hey, thea. this is thor. he points at him. hey, she says, a smile a little too big on her face. k, so let’s go? he motions at her and michelle and thor.
fuck. he’s gorgeous.

motel room. beer pong.
thea, i’ll owe you one, josh mouths and motions towards thor. but.. she starts to protest. please, he begs. i’ll owe you.
i’m not up for another of these. damn it. say no. 
we’ll see, she finally says. get him drunk. michelle and i will be back in 30.

he’s drunk and a play of truth or dare begins. 
oh boy, here we go. 
they kiss. there was something different. gentle.
hmm..
bedtime. sex. they talk; a first.
don’t get attached..

this is a bad idea. you know it is. 
she knew, but she sent the text anyway: wanna have lunch with me?
yeah, i’ll be over in a bit, he texted back. 
damn it. what the fuck?!

he got there in half an hour. cpk was the place. then back to her house.

i’m ready for a nap, he says, smiling. 
no. don’t.
mmm.. me, too. she replies. they lay down on her bed, pillows and covers surrounding their bodies. it was a warm day; their clothes had to be shed. he kisses her, passionately, like the ones they shared when this all started. every alarm in her body was set off. in a good way and bad. 
stop it! no, let him! what?! this is a bad idea. but this is what you want..
she was waging wars with herself as his hands explore her breasts, his tongue dancing with hers. he moans softly. i missed you, he says. she stops and looks at him. don’t say that, she looks in his eyes. he resumes kissing her. i’ve been thinking ‘bout you all week, he whispers in her ear as his tongue found her ear lobes. is that so? she plays along.
you will regret this. yeah, so? fuck.
their clothes are gone and he positions her on top; their kiss unbroken. he moans as she begins her dance. she echoes him. it felt so wrong yet so right. the heat of the room makes them sweat. her body glistens on top of his. his hands grip her thighs tighter; faster she went. then, it was over. they get cleaned up and they lay there. he closes his eyes, ready for a nap. she looks at him, at the man who she gave everything to. no feelings came. only a tinge sadness. but from where? 
it’s not the same anymore and you know it.
she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

after he left, she cried. it was what she did. 
why the hell am i crying?
then she realized there were no emotions behind those tears. they fell out of habit. she was over him. 

bonfire with her friends was fun. got a few laughs here and there. the streets of main st. were filled with people. not the usual ones she sees during daytime. the night’s atmosphere was almost intoxicating. she walks around with hannah. she gets picked up by michelle. hannah says goodbye and they go their separate ways. they drive to a friend’s house to kill time. 
midnight. they’re here, she says. ok, michelle gets up and says goodbye to her friends. she does the same. there’s a jacuzzi, she smiles at michelle. i have a feeling this night’s gonna be…. michelle finishes for her: interesting? they both laugh.
they get there. the motel room was set up. beer pong. lovely.

she’s losing. she’s drank most of the cups. ben hugs her, a kiss. one more. the jacuzzi’s ready; let’s go.
the night’s a blur. naked bodies on the bed. a flooded motel room with beer cans and cups on the floor.
holy fuck. no. that didn’t happen.
but it did. she throws her clothes on and walks out, regret settling in.
what the fuck am i doing with my life? 

she wakes up. goes to school. comes home. repeat. it’s the same monotonous schedule, monday to thursday. he’s out of town and she’s lonely. it’s thursday, basically her friday. she invites her best friend and a friend from class over.. he takes her home, his tongue slips in her mouth while they wait for her; sips of alcohol in between.
something’s gonna happen today. 
heat was persistent, her clothes had to go. she’s on top and she’s buzzed. one more swig and she’s drunk. their tongues dance, twisting around each other, teasing. she bites his lower lip and he does the same to her. she softly moans in his mouth. she hears a car out. 
she’s here, she says. damn, he says. i was hoping she’ll take a while this time. 
he looks at her with bedroom eyes. her best friend walks in, then it begins. 

she sits at the edge of her bed, her face buried in her shaking hands, tears roll down.
what am i doing? get over it. get over it. now!
but she can’t, and she doesn’t. she stands up abruptly and rushes to the bathroom mirror. she takes off her clothes and she stares at herself, tears flowing. she’s beautiful even when she cries, but that’s all on the surface. she knows she’s ugly inside. why else would this be happening to her? 
karma’s a fucking bitch, she thought. but haven’t i paid enough?
she sobs, falls to the bathroom floor and cries. she takes her phone and scrolls through her list. she needed someone there, anyone. she scrolls and texts a few people. she waited for a while; no response. it hits her; she’s alone. she cries harder, her naked body shaking.
you knew this was gonna happen. you’re so fucking stupid!
she cries for a few minutes more, holding her legs to her so she wouldn’t shake as much. she cries and cries. she let the shower heat up and she gets in, tear flow hasn’t reduced. she cries until she’s out of the shower. she walks to her bedroom and catches a glimpse of herself; her body, wet. eyes, red.
don’t text him! don’t you dare!
she grabs her phone: hey. she waits for a while, he sends: hey whats up? and it begins, an exchange of meaningless texts with him to fill the void he had created.